tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-45637669604317604332024-02-18T19:57:22.086-08:00News Riffs ComedyToday's Jokes on Todays News --
From the Top Headlines to the odds and ends of daily life.
"We welcome your comments."Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.comBlogger2293125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-8141043653668701262013-11-11T23:23:00.000-08:002013-11-11T23:23:50.091-08:00“South of the Bieber”<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Last
night Justin Bieber walked off stage ending a Buenos Aires concert early for
the second time since visiting South America, this time citing food poisoning
as the reason. Because it just sounds conceited to say he had
a Bieber fever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Bieber’s
manager said his food poisoning was so severe he spent the 8 hours before the
show on an IV drip. Said The Rolling Stones,
“An IV drip? Big deal – we do that
before <i>every </i>show.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Bieber
was already at the center of controversy in South America, allegedly visiting a
brothel, which may be the real origin of his “drip.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-75296863886579753122013-11-11T23:21:00.000-08:002013-11-11T23:21:58.736-08:00“Navy Blues”<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">More
allegations have surfaced in the US Navy sex scandal, in which contracts for
goods and services may have been given in exchange for money and gifts
including services of prostitutes. For instance, submarine officers were influenced
about where and when they would be going down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now
a 3-star admiral has been implicated. If
he was involved in illicit sexual behavior, naval uniform protocol demands that
his stars immediately be replaced with x’s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Reports
claim the scandal will taint the admirals.
But as everyone knows, rear admirals rarely get out with their taint
intact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-32697814414120004112013-11-11T23:19:00.000-08:002013-11-11T23:19:04.938-08:00“Salad Days”<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
California company has recalled over 90 tons of pre-packed salads and wraps
over fears that they may contain a strain of E. coli. Just what Americans need: another excuse not
to eat vegetables.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
contaminated foods will be collected by the FDA and redistributed as low-cost elementary
school lunches.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-47756758504501223862013-11-11T23:17:00.002-08:002013-11-11T23:17:54.777-08:00“The Russians Are Coming"<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Russian
president Vladimir Putin will be visiting Viet Nam tomorrow in an effort to
improve relations there. Coincidentally,
that event will also be a major plot point in the next Sylvester Stallone
action movie.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Once
he is there, safely in an underground lair, Putin can finally remove his
human-like mask and show the Vietnamese leaders his lizard skin underneath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-47161246220156138862013-11-11T10:59:00.001-08:002013-11-11T11:10:29.015-08:00"Immodest Proposal"<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Last week Kanye West flew Kim Kardashian to San
Francisco, where he surprised her by having rented out AT&T Park, home of
the Giants, where he then proposed. He
wanted to bring her to a place big enough for her ass and his ego.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Though they’ve been together a while now, Kim said the
proposal came totally out of left field.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In his proposal, Kanye told Kim that if she’d marry him,
she would make him the happiest man in the world, you know, because of all the
publicity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kanye said that the only thing that could make him
happier was if he could marry himself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kanye did not offer his proposal in a rap, but only
because Kim had not bought a ticket to be in the stadium.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Members of Kim’s family were hiding in the dugout waiting
for Kim’s answer. The dugout seemed the
perfect place for them, since it, too, is shallow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Khloe Kardashian was there, but she kept getting mistaken
for the Giants’ mascot.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kanye proposed with a giant, 14.2-carot diamond
ring. Kim said it was the best thing he
ever gave her, the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, and it goes without
saying that she loves it much more than their baby.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Actually, Kanye and Kim couldn’t wait to celebrate their
happy news with their baby, North, as soon as they figure out which nanny
currently has her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kanye had decided this was the perfect time to propose,
because as a couple, it’s very important that they promote his new album.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kim said ‘yes’ to Kanye, making way for a huge
celebration for all their lawyers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">As soon as Kim accepted the proposal, Kanye went straight
to third base.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">There was no TV crew there, allowing Kim and Kanye to
enjoy this as a private moment before the next sex tape.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kim will soon be planning her bridal shower, which is
what Kris Jenner calls meeting with networks to see who gets the deal to
broadcast the wedding. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kim and Kanye don’t care what denomination their wedding
officiate is, as long as it’s someone who bows down to Yesus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kim and Kanye will not wed at AT&T Park, because even
they know that with AT&T, you’ll get a lousy reception.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In a somewhat related story, that same day, Kris
Humphries went on a blind movie date, where he spilled a soda on the girl right
after the coming attractions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-91478382619613281622013-01-17T23:19:00.000-08:002013-01-17T23:19:19.156-08:00“Kim and Kanye Konceive”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Kim
Kardashian said that she had a hard time getting pregnant. But once the video camera was rolling…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
families with young children watch the Kardashians on TV and the kids start
asking where babies come from, their parents should explain to them, “A baby is
made when a man and a woman love attention very much…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
baby already has its own reality show, with the crew filming 24/7 from inside
Kim’s uterus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">But to be fair, they were already there
before she got pregnant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
few years after the baby is born, Kim and Kanye already can’t wait to show
their child the tape of his or her conception.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Kim
and Kanye have decided NOT to show the birth on television. Some moments are just so special and private
that they only belong on pay-per-view.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It’s
too soon to know if the baby will look like Kim or Kanye when its born, but
like all 3-month fetuses, for now its face looks like Bruce Jenner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-20807175524247341272013-01-17T23:13:00.000-08:002013-01-17T23:13:43.947-08:00“Hair Force One”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/01/17/michelle-obama-has-another-new-hair-do---with-bangs/1842981/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2013/01/17/michelle-obama-has-another-new-hair-do---with-bangs/1842981/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ahead
of her husband’s second inauguration, Michelle Obama has gotten a new hairstyle,
sporting bangs. Or as Republican
conspiracy theorists are calling it, a forehead cover-up.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
rumor is, if President Obama isn’t crazy about his wife’s new hairdo, he’s
going to push for a ban on hand-held scissors.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-963048783675108032013-01-17T23:11:00.001-08:002013-01-17T23:11:58.530-08:00“Take Aim, Rand”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/17/rand-paul-lets-arm-teachers/1843003/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/17/rand-paul-lets-arm-teachers/1843003/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">On
Thursday, Sen. Rand Paul said he supported the idea of having school teachers
carry guns in school. He said, “Not only
would it allow educators to defend themselves in the event of a crisis, we’d
see a lot more class work being finished on time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At
the end of those standardized tests, when teacher says pencils down, you’d
better put that pencil down!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">“That
test is getting a ‘B.’ And the ‘B’
stands for ‘buckshot.’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-42856004356778750712012-11-05T15:02:00.000-08:002012-11-05T15:02:34.311-08:00Galactic Empire<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Disney
has bought Lucasfilm for a reported $4 billion, with plans to make Star Wars
Episodes 7, 8, and 9. Already, Darth
Vader’s helmet is being fitted with mouse ears.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">George
Lucas will be involved with the new sequels as a consultant, so he still has a
chance to ruin them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">It is hard to calculate whether the franchise is really woth $4 billion, making some suspect that Disney executives became the victims of a Jedi mind trick.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">With
Star Wars becoming a part of the Disney family, Pinocchio finally has a wooden
brother in Hayden Christiansen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead
of being considered “lame,” Jar-Jar Binks will be reclassified as “wholesome.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Disney's growing empire has made some nostalgic for the Old Republic.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Disney knows how to handle the storm troopers, since its slate of romantic comedies proves they have plenty of experience with clones.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-86679709434592799982012-10-23T01:09:00.000-07:002012-10-23T01:09:43.384-07:00“Re-Cycling”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/cycling/2012/10/22/uci-no-appeal-lance-armstrong-usada-decision/1648865/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/cycling/2012/10/22/uci-no-appeal-lance-armstrong-usada-decision/1648865/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
international Cycling Union announced Monday that it would not appeal the
sanctions imposed on Lance Armstrong, who was stripped of all 7 titles in the
Tour de France and barred for life from competing in sanctioned Olympic sports. Adding insult to injury, his former love
Sheryl Crowe has retroactively repealed everything from their relationship,
especially the sex.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
UCI’s decision came after Armstrong declined to fight the doping charges
against him. No longer an inspiration to
kids, his new message is, “If you fall off a bike, don’t bother getting back
on.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-49208710646523463262012-10-23T01:07:00.001-07:002012-10-23T01:07:43.101-07:00“Air Trafficking Controllers”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/2012/10/17/baggage-handler-at-nyc-airport-gets-life-in-prison/1639061/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/2012/10/17/baggage-handler-at-nyc-airport-gets-life-in-prison/1639061/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">A
baggage handler at New York City’s John F. Kennedy international Airport was
sentenced to life in prison for in-flight drug trafficking, including hiding
cocaine inside sensitive wing assembly components, potentially threatening
passengers’ lives. It’s sad, because he
was the only handler who was actually careful with the luggage.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Though
federal prosecutors got their conviction, the case had gotten confusing when
drugs that were supposed to be shipped to one city were often diverted to
another.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-5032692542528771402012-10-17T23:36:00.000-07:002012-10-17T23:36:48.517-07:00“Flavor of the Month”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://seattletimes.com/html/entertainment/2019453775_apusflavorflavarrested.html?prmid=head_main">http://seattletimes.com/html/entertainment/2019453775_apusflavorflavarrested.html?prmid=head_main</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Last
night, Flavor Flav was arrested in Las Vegas for domestic violence. His attitude was, “You mess with the bull,
you get the plastic Viking helmet horns.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">This
never would have happened in Hollywood, where for years, Flavor couldn’t even
get arrested.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Flavor
might be facing some heavy jail time. If
there’s one guy who understands heavy time, it’s a guy who wears a wall clock
around his neck.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
an argument became heated between he and his fiancée, Flavor got the idea to, “Yo!
Bum Rush the Show…rty.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Flavor
allegedly threw his fiancée to the floor, twice. His excuse was, “Bitch should have stayed
down after the first time.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He
is also accused of chasing his fiancee’s son with a knife, a felony assault
charge. At that point, witnesses called
911, but as Flavor can attest, “911 Is a Joke.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
found guilty, after all these years, Flav is finally living up to the name
Public Enemy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Fortunately
for all involved, no one was injured.
Fortunately for America, no new Flavor Flav reality show is planned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-52582166971340917012012-10-17T00:23:00.001-07:002012-10-17T00:28:53.486-07:00"Fearless Fall" <br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Daredevil
“Fearless Felix” Baumgartner broke skydiving world records Sunday, jumping from
a giant balloon 24 miles up, then free-falling to speeds over 800 miles per
hour. That’s what you have to resort to
when your airline has blackout days for your frequent-flyer-miles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Felix
was free-falling for over 4 straight minutes, and for part of that he was spinning
completely out of control. This means
that he’s now qualified to make a comeback next year as a judge on The X
Factor. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He
traveled faster than the speed of sound, which was his whole objective. Not just to be the first person to do it
without a vehicle or craft, but to be able to blame the sounds of panicked
screaming on a guy he claims was a thousand feet behind him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">He
fell 24 Miles straight down. Men are
impressed by this. Women are convinced
he’d have landed faster if he’d stopped and asked for directions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The entire stunt was sponsored by Red Bull, which is surprising, because they didn't give him wings.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Some spectators said the whole idea of a man risking his life for
a little fame left a bad taste in their mouths.
And there’s your tie-in with Red Bull.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">Because Red Bull orchestrated everything, Felix was expected to
get to a high very quickly, but then crash hard and burn out.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-89139585054564381602012-09-24T22:43:00.001-07:002012-09-24T22:43:53.009-07:00“Cryer’s Keepers”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><a href="http://www.emmys.com/">http://www.emmys.com/</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Jon
Cryer won the Emmy award last night for Best Lead Actor in a Comedy Series,
proving you can be on Two and a Half Men and win an Emmy without smoking crack.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Cryer’s
next move is to go crazy, do lots of drugs, whore it up, and trademark the
resulting catchphrases.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-56275187072853326632012-09-21T16:25:00.000-07:002012-09-21T16:25:09.894-07:00“Call Waiting”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/tech/story/2012/09/21/iphone-5-first-day-sales/57815108/1?csp=hf">http://www.usatoday.com/tech/story/2012/09/21/iphone-5-first-day-sales/57815108/1?csp=hf</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Apple
customers are swarming to buy the new iPhone 5.
Most enthusiasts are excited about the sleek, new look and features of
waiting in long lines.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Apple
stock is up and expected to continue to rise, unless iPhone 4’s Siri becomes jealous
over 5’s attention.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Apple
is expected to make such large sales gains that from now on, New York City will
be known as The <i>Little</i> Apple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-34802798942930331732012-09-21T16:23:00.000-07:002012-09-21T16:23:17.867-07:00“Shuttered Shuttle Shuttled”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012/09/21/endeavour-soars-over-sacramento-en-route-to-la/57815248/1">http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012/09/21/endeavour-soars-over-sacramento-en-route-to-la/57815248/1</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
retired Space Shuttle Endeavor landed in Los Angeles today. It was
flown in, strapped to the top of a jumbo jet.
The unusual landing not only impressed spectators, it earned the shuttle
the nickname “Romney’s Dog.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Now
that its retired, the shuttle will become an exhibit at the California Science
Center, where it will spend it's days talking with other shuttles about the good
old days, and telling everyone else to get out of its yard.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-29770967076349185482012-09-21T16:18:00.001-07:002012-09-21T16:18:33.416-07:00“Fat Chance”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012/09/21/sugary-drinks-may-magnify-the-genetic-risk-of-obesity/57821200/1">http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012/09/21/sugary-drinks-may-magnify-the-genetic-risk-of-obesity/57821200/1</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harvard
researchers say that people who are genetically predisposed to obesity are more
likely to become obese if they drink a lot of sugary beverages. Their conclusions are based on studying 32 genes,
gathering ancestry data and testing thousands of grouped subjects. But they could have gotten the same results
just from looking at people.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-9229718147709793742012-08-30T16:41:00.000-07:002012-08-30T16:41:07.569-07:00“Jersey No-More”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2012/08/mtvs-jersey-shore-will-end-after-sixth-season/1#.UD_kHcGPUsc" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 8pt;">http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2012/08/mtvs-jersey-shore-will-end-after-sixth-season/1#.UD_kHcGPUsc</a></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">MTV
has announced that the next season of <i>Jersey Shore</i> would be its last. The reason for its cancellation after 6
seasons is that thanks to the cast, the state of New Jersey has run out of
alcohol. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
most painful thing about the end of the series is, instead of referring to
Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi,” with the prefix “TV star,” people will have to refer
to her by the prefix “Best-selling author.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Not
only do Snooki and J-Woww have their own spin-off anyway, now that Snooki has
given birth to her baby, she will be opening her own production company, in her
vagina.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Once
the series ends, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will split his time between
product endorsement deals and using his own existence as evidence that
evolution is now working backwards. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Actually, once
the show is off the air, the cast drop their TV personas and will resume their
real lives: going to college and spending their spare time reading classic
literature and discussing philosophy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-11695765822800656802012-08-24T15:17:00.000-07:002013-11-11T23:29:45.945-08:00“That’s your Cue, Harry." or "Royal Hiney"<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.0pt;"><a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2012/08/prince-harry-gets-naked-in-las-vegas/1?csp=hf#.UDVH4MGPUsc">http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2012/08/prince-harry-gets-naked-in-las-vegas/1?csp=hf#.UDVH4MGPUsc</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">TMZ
caught images of a naked Prince Harry who was apparently playing strip
billiards in a Las Vegas hotel. Luckily,
before anyone could see how the billiards game was going, Harry had the sense
to cover his balls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Things
got even more awkward when cameras caught Harry chalking his own cue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hopefully
the prince remembered the first rule of naked billiards: try not to scratch on
the break.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">The photos have resulted in the young royal’s new nickname, Prince Hairy.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Harry
claims he was just trying to sink one in the corner pocket.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Most embarrassing to the royal family: Harry must be pretty bad at billiards.</span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-42001176638298650322012-08-24T15:13:00.000-07:002012-08-24T15:13:01.466-07:00“LL Cool Justice”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/story/2012-08-22/ll-cool-j-burglar/57205912/1"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/story/2012-08-22/ll-cool-j-burglar/57205912/1</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Actor/Rapper
LL Cool J stopped a burglar who had broken into his house and held him until
police arrived. The burglar wasn’t
actually trying to escape arrest, he just wanted to flee before Cool J made him
watch NCIS: Los Angeles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-32029857718601597142012-08-24T15:07:00.001-07:002012-08-24T15:07:46.003-07:00"Plucking at the Peacock"<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">As
part of NBC's major budget trim of The Tonight Show, Jay Leno has taken a $5
million per-year pay-cut. As a result,
instead of starting each day by driving a different custom car to work, every day Leno will be
taking a different bus.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Many
companies are needing to cut back to reduce expenses, especially the ones that
had to pay out $40 million to lose Conan O'Brien.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-27145809805572220332012-08-22T16:47:00.001-07:002012-08-22T16:47:01.613-07:00“Grey Spider”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/life/comics/story/2012-08-21/Spider-Man-50th-anniversary/57195770/1">http://www.usatoday.com/life/comics/story/2012-08-21/Spider-Man-50th-anniversary/57195770/1</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Marvel
Comics iconic superhero Spiderman turns 50 this week. Spiderman hasn’t changed much since turning
50, except he’s adding insulation to his costume so he doesn’t catch a chill.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">At
50, he’s still out fighting crime every night, but he’s started turning in by
10:30.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Also,
the eye-lets in his mask are now bifocals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
Peter Parker hides his street clothes to go fight bad guys as Spiderman, he can
no longer always remember where he put them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When
the Green Goblin starts throws bombs and grenades at him, 50-year-old Spidey’s biggest complaint now is
that all that racket is giving him a headache.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-17911977025506238812012-08-21T18:15:00.000-07:002012-08-21T18:20:32.698-07:00“If the Shoe Fits”<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/08/nikes-new-lebron-james-shoes-to-cost-315/1#.UDQY1qmPUsc">http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/08/nikes-new-lebron-james-shoes-to-cost-315/1#.UDQY1qmPUsc</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcd8QtFSgPkdotQf62-Pl08kZ8kzLgwiK5wOIqvghC4-GHj8HEChfqh6fDR_zNxDtbfPhkZoE39-gUfCJ_bOHXEYM7dVDEQngH7mWX4WEBSu8PbqzVUL_s9TITDkrkUlSFIzdRDMl7AWx/s1600/LeBron+x-wide-community.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfcd8QtFSgPkdotQf62-Pl08kZ8kzLgwiK5wOIqvghC4-GHj8HEChfqh6fDR_zNxDtbfPhkZoE39-gUfCJ_bOHXEYM7dVDEQngH7mWX4WEBSu8PbqzVUL_s9TITDkrkUlSFIzdRDMl7AWx/s320/LeBron+x-wide-community.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Nike’s
new LeBron James signature shoes, the Lebron X, featuring motion-sensing
technology, will cost $315.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
shoes are named after Lebron because he’s the only one who can afford them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
US government approves of the price, trying to make the job of commission shoe
salesperson a top-earning profession.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The
shoe is called the Lebron X. The X is
the Roman Numeral for how many dollars it takes to make the shoes in a Korean
sweatshop and then ship them to the US.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-741840982284443782012-08-21T18:14:00.000-07:002012-08-21T18:14:12.708-07:00“Camp-Pain”<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/story/2012-08-20/obama-campaign-spending-fundraising/57174798/1?csp=hf">http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/story/2012-08-20/obama-campaign-spending-fundraising/57174798/1?csp=hf</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">President
Obama’s re-election campaign is spending money faster than he has so far been
able to raise it. Sources say he’s doing
it on purpose, since he’s gotten used to deficit spending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4563766960431760433.post-30629123013207150332012-08-21T18:12:00.001-07:002012-08-21T18:12:41.092-07:00“Too ‘Legit’ To Quit”<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 8.0pt;"><a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/08/todd-akin-abortion-missouri-senate-race-/1#.UDQZBqmPUsc">http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/08/todd-akin-abortion-missouri-senate-race-/1#.UDQZBqmPUsc</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Mitt
Romney is calling on Rep. Todd Akin to drop out of the Senate race in Missouri,
in the wake of his comments that women rarely get pregnant from “legitimate
rape.” Akin refuses to quit, saying he
might step aside only if Romney releases his “legitimate tax returns.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Akin’s
initial mistake was misunderstanding the expression “illegitimate children.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
Markus Kublinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15791224142877681190noreply@blogger.com0