“HMO-phobia”

Starting next year, new rules for California HMO’s will require limits of no more than 10 business days to get an appointment with a family doctor, and 30 minutes to get a return phone call from a doctor’s office. Of course the commute to the doctor’s office will be less convenient, since they are all going to move to Nevada.

Meanwhile, HMO lawyers are working to change the definition of “see a doctor” to include “see a TV doctor," “see a lab coat,” and “see a photograph of a doctor.”