“Splendor’ed Ending”

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/cruises/2010-11-11-1Acruise11_CV_N.htm?csp=hf

The weary vacationers from the disabled Carnival Cruise ship Splendor were relieved to finally disembark on dry land today. Docking in San Diego pleased the passengers because the city is famous for having working toilets.

Aboard the ship, the passengers had no electricity, cell phone service or Internet. Of course, once they got to their email accounts, they were flooded with palettes of spam.

How bad were the conditions aboard? Once the toilets stopped functioning for a boat filled with 4,500 people, even Somali pirates were like, “No thanks; you guys can just pass right through our waters. Keep it moving. Good luck. Bye, bye.”

“Cruise Control” or "Carnival Carnage"

http://travel.usatoday.com/cruises/post/2010/11/carnival-splendor-fire-cruise-ship-engine-room-tug-boat/130420/1

The Carnival cruise ship Splendor had an engine room fire Monday, forcing the ship to be towed to port by tugboats over an estimated 2-day period with limited food, no air conditioning, and no working toilets. Trying to still enjoy their trip, some passengers are just pretending they are vacationing in India.

It will take an estimated 2 day journey for tugboats to pull the 113,000-ton ship into port in Ensenada, Mexico. It would take less than a day, but there are a lot of fat Americans aboard.

Passengers say the only thing that would have been worse was if the cruise had proceeded as normal.

Per Carnival policy, once the ship docks, passengers wishing to disembark will be asked to remain calm and form an orderly Conga line.