“Weight of their Words”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/story/2012-06-26/obesity-screening/55817686/1

The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force is calling on doctors to be the “gateway” for obese patients seeking to lose weight, since medical professionals should know which diets and other methods are safe and effective.  The physicians are willing to act as gateways, the problem is that most of their patients no longer fit through a standard size gate.

One thing that’s hurting patients’ confidence in informed medical opinions:  fat doctors.

"I-HMO-Hotep" or "Ancient Patient"

Doctors discovered prostate cancer in a 2,200 year old Egyptian mummy.  Apparently they used to think that the cure for cancer was to just wrap the patient in bandages.

Unfortunately, it was a pre-existing condition, not covered by his insurance, Blue Ankh and Blue Shield.

It's a good thing this was discovered.  The hieroglyphs depicting his doctor's exam were previously thought to be ancient gay porn.

“Shot in the Arm”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/coldflu/story/2011/07/Long-term-universal-flu-shot-on-horizon/49671698/1?csp=hf

The National Institutes of Health has predicted that a one-time, universal flu shot may be developed within five years, replacing annual shots that specific strains.  The only thing that would have made the news more encouraging is if they were working on a shot to cure a fear of needles.

“Danger Dogs”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/fitness-food/diet-nutrition/story/2011/07/Doctors-group-says-hot-dogs-as-dangerous-as-cigarettes/49665266/1

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine has launched an advertising campaign to convince the public that hot dogs are as dangerous to health as cigarettes.   Teens suddenly found hot dogs much cooler.

People are advised not to light up or smoke hot dogs.

The group paid for a billboard ad warning about the health risks associated with over-eating processed meats.  The problem with the billboard is, anyone who thinks hot dogs are healthy is probably illiterate, too.