“Mummy Takes a Ride” or “Carcophagus ”

http://www.ocregister.com/news/car-272176-woman-body.html
Orange County police discovered the mummified corpse of a homeless woman who had been kept in the passenger seat of a car still being driven for months since her death. Apparently, the driver just wanted to put “new car smell” to the test.

It sounds creepy that the driver just kept using the car with the dead woman’s body sitting in the passenger seat, but it got even creepier when they did a Chinese fire drill.

The driver says she was afraid to tell police about the woman’s death when it happened and left her there until her body withered to a 30-lb.over the next several months, but she wasn’t going to leave it there forever. When it shrunk small enough, the driver was going to hang the body from her rear-view mirror.

The driver hasn’t been charged with any crime, and won’t be unless it can be proven that she used the corpse to illegally use the carpool lane.

Even though the discovery of a dead person was involved, police say they might bring charges but they might not, based on the legal precedent of maybe-us corpus.

“Bike-By Shooting”

http://www.ocregister.com/news/england-270533-home-bicycle.html

A man riding past an Orange County home on a bicycle fired 4 gunshots as he passed the house Sunday night. None of the bullets hit anyone, leading police to believe the shooter must have also been texting at the time.

Analysts say that this is a sign of how bad the economy has gotten: even drive-by shooters can’t afford a car.

Police are investigating the incident to see if it is gang-related. Specifically they are checking out biker gangs.

Or, since it was a bicycle, a chain gang.

If he is a gang banger and is selling drugs, that’s how police will catch him. You can hide heroin or coke in your glove compartment, but not in the basket clamped onto your handlebars.

Police hope to catch the suspect and are shifting into high gear.

Maybe the shooter is an environmentalist gang-banger. His gang color is green.