“American Mimi”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/livefrom/post/2012/07/carey-joins-american-idol-judging-panel/1#.UA2wQ2E192A

Pop-star Mariah Carey has officially signed on to be a judge on the next season of American Idol.  Making the producers’ decision easier, Mariah can make use of all of the flowing, ruffled, and lacey wardrobe pieces left behind by Steven Tyler.

Mariah is going to be the new “mean” judge.  Any of the singers who are bad will be forced to watch her movie, Glitter.

Mariah will be filling the ‘Diva’ role, taking over for Ryan Seacrest.

“Tyler's Permanent Vacation”

Steven Tyler has announced that he will not return to American Idol as a judge for season 12.  He said that he wants to focus on his main job, playing Flo for Progressive Insurance commercials.

Tyler wasn’t planning on showing up for season 12, mainly because he doesn’t remember having been a judge for seasons 10 and 11.

The truth is, once Tyler figured out he wasn’t going to bang J. Lo, he thought, “What’s the point?”

The media have not heard any further comment from Steven, because the microphone in his cell phone is wrapped in several long, colorful scarves.

“Tyler, II” or "Even Steven"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/idolchatter/post/2011/04/steven-tyler-i-dont-ever-want-to-be-a-bad-example-again/1

Steven Tyler told People magazine that being in the public eye on American Idol helps him stay sober.  This proves how different he really is from former Idol judge Paula Abdul.

Tyler is surely glad to have kept clean long enough to be, as the song goes, “Back in the Saddle Again.”  Unfortunately, he’s also been through enough to live up to the song, “Dude Looks Like a Lady.”