“American Way”

http://bottomline.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/29/9088501-american-airlines-files-for-bankruptcy-protection

American Airlines has filed for bankruptcy.  Their debts are so large they can no longer be carried-on.

Due to the company’s financial strains, all of their planes’ passenger cabins will now be even more pressurized.

To offset their costs, pilots will now be paid in frequent flyer miles.

The airline says that their biggest issues are labor and fuel costs.  To save money on both, they are going to cover most of their destinations by strapping their planes to the top of buses.

Employees are taking the news pretty hard.  Their faces looked so sad today, you’d think the luggage they lost was their own.

American’s debt ratio is so high, for the first time, the airline is actually living up to its name.

“One for the Books” or “Borders Not Secured”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/07/borders-says-it-will-shut-down/1

The Wall Street Journal reported Monday that Borders will be shutting down its company and closing all of its bookstores by September.  Responded America, “What’s a bookstore?”

"Enquiring Minds Don't Want to Know" or "'National' Debt"

"The National Enquirer" announced they are filing for bankruptcy. They hope to recover by Photo-shopping their bank balance to look fatter.

To find out how they are spending their final, heart-breaking days, and who they are sleeping with, just look inside!