“Tall Tale”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/cancer/story/2011/07/Taller-people-at-greater-risk-for-cancer-study-finds/49569228/1

A new British study suggests that taller people may be at higher risk for certain types of cancer.  As a result, many tall teenagers have begun smoking to stunt their growth.

On the flipside, short women are more likely to endure the pain of high heels.

“Not So Sunny News” or “Left Is Not Right”

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/cancer/story/2011/06/US-drivers-more-likely-to-develop-skin-cancers-on-left-arm/48414006/1

New research says that American drivers are more likely to get skin cancer on their left arm, due to prolonged sun exposure from having their arm out the window.  To minimize their risk, worried citizens are moving to England.

Republicans may be safer in American cars, since they lean to the right.

It’s possible that drivers of convertible cars are at the greatest risk of harmful sun exposure, but thankfully, they tend to be douchebags.