OLYMPIC ROUND-UP

Michael Phelps is now the most decorated Olympic athlete in history, with a record-breaking 21 medals.  All the other countries are petitioning the Olympic Committee to make Phelps wear all his medals in the water from now on, just to slow him down.

Gold-medal winning gymnast Gabby Douglas has become a media sensation.  You can’t hear a newscast or talk show these days without comments on Gabby’s flips, twists, and curls – but those were just the jealous people, making fun of her hair.

            “Nothing But Net” or “Birdie Lays an Egg”

A scandal broke this week when female badminton players from China, Japan, and Indonesia were disqualified when they tried to throw their first match in order to be placed against easier opponents.  In high schools, this is known as the “get out of gym class” strategy.

This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to badminton since it was revealed that the “birdie” used in play is really called a shuttlecock.

"This Is Only a Test"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/03/photo-id-to-be-required-to-take-sat-act-exams/1#.T3H1nmE192A

As of this fall, all students taking SAT and ACT college entrance exams will have to present a photo ID.  This, of course, is to cut down on the rampant problem of wild teens’ under-age testing.

The photos of themselves on their ID cards will be helpful to public high school students who can’t read their own names.

"Cheaters"

A new survey finds that people who cheat on their taxes are also more likely to keep the wrong change given to them by a cashier, or to keep a $20 bill they saw someone drop. They also wish survey conductors would just mind their own damn business.