OLYMPIC ROUND-UP

Michael Phelps is now the most decorated Olympic athlete in history, with a record-breaking 21 medals.  All the other countries are petitioning the Olympic Committee to make Phelps wear all his medals in the water from now on, just to slow him down.

Gold-medal winning gymnast Gabby Douglas has become a media sensation.  You can’t hear a newscast or talk show these days without comments on Gabby’s flips, twists, and curls – but those were just the jealous people, making fun of her hair.

            “Nothing But Net” or “Birdie Lays an Egg”

A scandal broke this week when female badminton players from China, Japan, and Indonesia were disqualified when they tried to throw their first match in order to be placed against easier opponents.  In high schools, this is known as the “get out of gym class” strategy.

This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to badminton since it was revealed that the “birdie” used in play is really called a shuttlecock.

“Female Footballer”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/07/us-womens-soccer-player-im-gay/1?csp=hf

U.S Women’s soccer player Megan Rapinoe has come out publicly saying she is gay.  Her discovery of this first came when she realized that she was a woman soccer player.

Soccer was a natural choice for Megan, since she’s never had any desire to touch balls with her hands.

There hasn’t been any backlash from fans.  In fact, male fans now think she’s hotter.

The announcement puts a spotlight not only on her, and on the upcoming London Olympic Games, but this news may even let Americans find out what soccer is.

“Olympian Effort” or “Still ‘Lympian Along”

NBC made a deal to keep showing the Olympics until 2020.  In so doing, they have made sure that Americans will be able to continue to watch their best amateur athletes on the best amateur network.

Stuff in the News today...

Preorders for her pending book have already made Sarah Palin a bestselling author, weeks before the book’s scheduled November 17 release. As soon as the book arrives, Palin’s diehard fans will begin reading it, but then quit halfway through.



On Tuesday, Toyota issued a recall of 3.8 million cars driver side floor mats, which had caused the accelerator pedal to get stuck down, causing multiple crashes. It’s a shame, because just as the auto industry was turning around, they literally had the rug pulled from under them.



President Obama is in Denmark campaigning for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics. His strongest argument: Chicago could certainly use the exercise.



Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte lifted off toward the International Space Station today, wearing a clown nose to make an important statement: Anyone following a clown into space should know that they have really, really big shoes to fill.