David Patterson was sworn in as the governor of New York today, after the resignation of scandalized Eliot Spitzer over the prostitution ring where he was known as “Client #9.” As Spitzer’s successor, Patterson hopes to distance himself from the scandal by ditching the nickname, “Client #10.”

Interestingly, Patterson is legally blind, which can be seen as a political advantage, at least when it comes to resisting attractive prostitutes.

Patterson is also New York’s first African-American governor. Which, again, being legally blind, was news to him.



The Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce was finally settled in a London court today, with Mills being awarded a total of $48.6 million. She is not expected to appeal the decision, which makes sense. She knows she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.



Brad Pitt and former president Bill Clinton broke ground together today in a project to build affordable homes for victims of Hurricane Katrina. Pitt is participating as the founder of the Make It Right Foundation, and Clinton was in New Orleans anyway, having just wrapped up his mardi-gras partying.



Elton John is giving a concert to raise money for Hillary Clinton’s campaign. “I believe in the work that Hillary does,” Elton said as he discreetly sheltered some of his un-taxed assets, coifed his blonde streaked hair, and pretended to be straight.