"Game of Life"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/08/teen-hospitalized-with-dehydration-after-4-day-xbox-marathon/1#.UCK2mfaPUsc

A 15-yar-old Ohio boy named Tyler collapsed and was taken to the hospital for dehydration after playing Modern Warfare 3 on his X-Box for a marathon, 4-day session.  The boy knew his life was in danger, but thought that if he died, he still had 2 more lives.

The boy did pause game play to take bathroom breaks.  In serious gaming circles, this is known as being a “coward” or “quitter.”

Tyler was very upset in the ambulance, because all the way to the hospital, the driver didn’t shoot anyone else on the road.

At the hospital, Tyler wanted to administer his own IV, because he’s an expert 1^st-person shooter.

He is expected to make a full recovery, but earns no points while he’s down and lost his special weapons.

“Baby Train”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2012-01-17/mom-birth-train-new-york/52615178/1

A New Jersey woman gave birth to a baby boy on a commuter train to New York Monday.  The train conductor acted fast – he was quick to collect the fare for the extra passenger.

When the mother’s contractions quickened and it became obvious she wasn’t going to make it off the train in time, the father delivered his own baby.  Naturally, both parents’ biggest concern was that the baby not be born in New Jersey.

Once the train stopped, the family was rushed to the hospital, where doctors and administrators scrambled to charge them as much money as possible.

“Emergency Wedding” or “In Sickness and in Health”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2011-06-28-Pennsylvania-couple-married-in-hospital_n.htm

A Pennsylvania couple was forced to get married in a hospital after a wedding-day accident where the groom fell down a flight of stairs.  The groom says it was worth it to get out of having to do The Chicken dance.

Though the wedding was simple, it cost more than the elaborate ceremony they had planned, since it wasn’t covered by insurance.

His ride to the emergency room was delayed while the groomsman hung cans and streamers off the ambulance.

Right after he was admitted the doctor put the groom on an IV of straight champagne.

The couple cut the cake, but per hospital policy, had to sew it back up.

The fall was caused when the groom’s shoes stuck to the floor due to his cold feet.

The accident and wedding happened Saturday, and the groom can hardly wait to be released – from the hospital.

These, days, hospitals are used to wedding parties rushing in unexpectedly, but its usually to the maternity ward.

Jerry’s not Kidding”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/06/jerry-lewis-hospitalized-in-australia/1

Jerry Lewis was rushed to a hospital in Sydney Australia, where he had been scheduled to perform for a Muscular Dystrophy Foundation charity event.  Lewis had wanted to go on; after all, he’s died on stage thousands of times.

As expected, the ride to the hospital was delayed by slapstick bits getting Jerry into the car.

 Getting to the hospital proved difficult due to unlikely detours, hilarious obstacles in the road, and the driver’s eyes being covered by a monkey.

“Keeping Up with Jones”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/04/catherine-zeta-jones-checks-into-mental-health-facility/1?csp=hf

A spokesman for actress Catherine Zeta-Jones confirmed Thursday that she had checked into a mental health facility for a brief stay earlier this month.  Catherine suddenly realized that to have married Michael Douglas years ago, she must have been crazy.