“Salad Days”

A California company has recalled over 90 tons of pre-packed salads and wraps over fears that they may contain a strain of E. coli.  Just what Americans need: another excuse not to eat vegetables.

 

The contaminated foods will be collected by the FDA and redistributed as low-cost elementary school lunches.

“Vege-Terrorists”

http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/20101222/us_yblog_thelookout/report-al-qaeda-plotted-to-sprinkle-poison-on-u-s-salad-bars

Officials revealed Tuesday that the al-Qaida cell that tried to pass toner-cartridge bombs in October also had a plot to poison restaurant salad bars. If they carried out that plan, based on American eating habits, they could have killed as many as… 0 people.

When asked if the “salad plot” scared them, most Americans responded, “What’s a salad?”

Meanwhile, the Terror alert was raised to Orange today when it was discovered that Americans are continuing to poison themselves with fast food and all-you-can-eat buffets.

The al-Qaida terrorists had previously attempted to attack America’s salad bars with germ weapons, but they were foiled by the sneeze guard.