"Hilton Claims to Defame"

http://www.thewrap.com/media/article/perez-hilton-sued-500k-over-angelina-jolie-ring-claim-38521

Blogger Perez Hilton is being sued for $500,000 for claiming on his website that the jeweler who designed Angelina Jolie’s engagement ring had been previously convictred of fraud.  Though, the real story here would be if a blogger actually had $500,000.

Perez said he would be willing to retract all claims and apologizing if Brad Pitt will marry him instead of Angelina.

“Engaging Jordan”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/12/michael-jordan-proposes-to-girlfriend-/1

Basketball great Michael Jordan proposed to his longtime girlfriend Yvette Prieto.  Like Jordan himself, the question seemed to hang in the air for a long time.

No word on the price of her ring, but it probably cost quite a few Air Jordans.

Now that they are engaged, Jordan can’t wait to get his Hanes on her.

The concept of the diamond ring confused Jordan.  He’s used to putting the rock inside the hoop.

The proposal came on Christmas Day.  And that night, he dunked it.

No doubt the diamond can be measured by carats, but Chicago Bulls fans are counting the points.

“Pop Proposal”

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/story/2011-12-16/britney-spears-engaged/52009134/1

Britney Spears has gotten engaged, to Jason Trawick, who was her manager until May, 2010, when they began dating.  Instead of a wild, crazy bachelorette party, Britney will just have a flashback to 2008.

The pair ended their professional relationship to concentrate on their personal one.  In other words, Jason can quit his job, now that he’s got himself a sugar mama.

It is unknown at this time if there will be a pre-nuptial agreement, but one thing is for sure: Jason will insist that Britney not open-mouth kiss Madonna anymore.

“Hef’t at the Alter”

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/hugh-hefner-and-crytsal-harris-call-off-wedding/2011/06/14/AGrHAqUH_blog.html

Hugh Hefner and fiancé Crystal Harris have reportedly called off their wedding.  Apparently Hef realized that in just a couple years, she would be too old for him.

The couple allegedly broke up after an argument on the phone.  No matter what Crystal said, Hef kept going, “What?  What?  I can’t hear.  Speak up.  Where’s the volume?”

Hef tweeted that Crystal has had a “change of heart.”  Which happened when she realized that any day now, Hef would literally need to change his heart.

This is bad news for Hef’s adult media empire, since the “Playboy lifestyle” now means being humiliated when your girl publicly dumps you.

The breakup is especially painful for Hef, who, at 85, is reminded of his bride-to-have-been every time recalls the age of his grandchildren.

"Black Swan in White Gown"

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2010-12-28-millepied27_ST_N.htm

Natalie Portman has gotten engaged to her Black Swan co-star and choreographer, Benjamin Millepied, and has announced that she is pregnant. The news sent Anakin Skywalker into a murderous rage, and his descent to the Dark Side of the Force is now complete.