"Spell Check”

http://www.cnn.com/2012/05/30/tech/mobile/amercia-romney-iphone-app/index.html

Mitt Romney’s iPad app had an embarrassing misspelling, promising a “A better Amercia,” reversing the c and i.  Dick Cheney is sticking up for his fellow Republican, noting than when he was in power, he was l slowly turning all of America into the CIA.

Romney tried to diffuse the mistake by saying that, if elected, he’ll place more emphasis on educashuns.

Mitt thinks that statistics will help his case.  His new website says he’s even running for President of the United Stats of America.

Critics are asking why Romney didn’t have someone proofread the text, but as Republicans have said since Gitmo and the Patriot Act, you don’t need proof.

Meanwhile, Romney’s poll numbers have sharply increased in the small island nation of Amercia.

It was surprising that Mitt didn’t have auto-correct, especially since he claims to have saved the entire auto industry.

Romney admits that he misspelled America, but he won’t admit that he is misreading it.

The corrected app now promising that Mitt will build a better United Stakes.

“Newt’s News”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/05/newt-gingrich-withdraw-impact-mitt-romney-rick-santorum/1#.T6G5cbM192D

Newt Gingrich formally suspended his presidential campaign today, making way for Mitt Romney’s GOP nomination.  Gingrich did not formally endorse Romney, but he’ll show support his own way.  He’ll have an affair with Romney, and then leave his current wife for him.

For the last several weeks, Gingrich has been fighting a losing battle, but wasn’t willing to give up.  It’s the exact opposite strategy he has been using regarding his weight.

“Engaging Talks”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2010/11/sarah-palin-president-2012-/1

Sarah Palin told a reporter that she is “engaged” in conversations with her family about whether or not she should run for president in 2012. Still, that doesn’t mean anything; Bristol Palin’s been engaged twice.

"Election Rates"

"The Daily Show" was the highest rated late night show in October among viewers aged 18 to 49. As a result, syndicated sitcoms are going to hold a Washington Mall “Rally to Restore Ratings.”

Fox News Channel scored the highest ratings on election night, averaging seven million viewers. However, being a hard news channel, they don't care about ratings. They care about getting Republicans elected.

Don’t Bank On It

So far, Congressional talks to fund President Bush’s proposed bank industry bailout have failed. In summary, half of Congress bailed and the other half are out.

John McCain has said that he will debate with Barak Obama tonight. All week, the two sides have been publicly arguing back and forth about the proposed bank bail-out, the economy, and the priorities of this country. Isn’t that called… a debate?

In the biggest bank failure in U.S. history, Washington Mutual was seized and its assets sold to JP Morgan Chase & Co. last night. To reflect its new relationship with customers, Washington Mutual is changing its name to Mutual Disdain.