Sherwood Schwartz, creator of The Brady Bunch, died Tuesday at the age of 94. On the bright side, Alice will finally be allowed to sit and eat dinner with the family.
At the memorial service, the family dog Tiger will knock over the entire refreshments table.
Cindy asked a department store Santa Claus to bring him back to life so he can sing in church on Christmas morning.
Upon hearing the eulogies from family, friends, and fans, Jan Brady finally burst into tears, saying, “Sherwood, Sherwood, Sherwood! That’s all I ever hear about!”
Peter Brady was very upset when he heard the news, which explained why his voice kept cracking.
In lieu of flowers, Marcia Brady has asked fans to do anything they can to get special guest Davy Jones to show up at the funeral.
The cause of death seems to be related to the fact that he broke mom’s favorite vase.
He would have lived longer, but “Something suddenly came up.”
Greg Brady was asked to sing at the memorial, but only because he fit the suit.
Schwartz started out as a writer for Bob Hope’s radio show, but became a TV producer once Marcia got him to take of his glasses and gave him a make-over.
Schwartz also created Gilligan’s island. So at the funeral, though there will be no studio audience, there will be a laugh track.
Mourners can pay their respects graveside, with the body in a hammock set up in a straw hut.
Schwartz was supposed to have a burial at sea, but the casket got lost in a storm and then struck ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle.
In the next world, Schwartz will have to make the best of having no phone, no light, no motorcar; not a single luxury.
In all seriousness, Mr. Schwartz, you gave generations of American families a lot of laughter and fond memories. Your creations live on in pop-culture spanning every medium, affectionate parody and tribute, and endless reruns. Thank you for each beloved character, story, and theme song. May you rest in peace.
