Lindsay Lohan was accused of stealing clothing from a home where a friend was house-sitting. No charges will be brought, though, due to lack of evidence. Justice will be served, though, if she’s guilty. If there’s one thing paparazzi always uncovers, it’s a fashion crime.
In a statement, Lindsay said, “Why would I steal clothes, when I’ll have access to Paris closets the whole time she’s in jail?”
It’s true that there is no prior pattern of behavior to make anyone think Lindsay would steal clothes. In fact, at all the movie shoots she’s ever been on, with all the fancy wardrobe lying around, the only thing that’s usually missing from the set… is her.
According to witnesses at an Amsterdam zoo, an 11 year old, 400-lb. gorilla named Bokito escaped from his enclosure and injured 4 people, before being subdued by officials. This shows you what life is really like in other countries. In America, they wouldn’t have revealed the gorilla’s name because he’s under 18.
Actually, the real difference is that in America, witnesses wouldn’t have had to report anything. Somebody would have video-taped it, and the next day we’d all be watching When Gorilla’s Attack on FOX.
Even worse, the day after that, a bunch of idiots would be trying to break gorillas out of zoos to attack people so they could video-tape it and put it on YouTube.
A colonial-era shipwreck has been discovered, carrying what might be the biggest sunken treasure ever discovered, about 17 tons of silver and gold coins. The explorers who found it now face an even bigger challenge: finding a bank that will accept unrolled coin.
The Associated Press reports that the treasure has an estimated value of $500 million. The last time anything that valuable was found under water was when Bill Gates’ wallet fell out of his vest pocket while he was standing at a drinking fountain.
The Marine exploration team hasn’t yet confirmed the country of origin of the ship, but they place its age between 300 and 400 years old, which they can tell because the coins have a picture of Abe Vigoda’s face on them.
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