Jon and Kate Gosselin’s divorce became final on Friday, with Kate retaining the family home and primary custody of all 8 children. Kate also gets exclusive use of her awful hairstyle, because no one else would want it.
Jon retains exclusive rights to the title “douche of all douches,” but only for one year, after which, the title will be shared by the Guidos on Jersey Shore.
Often, the real losers in a divorce are the children, but in this case, the real loser is still Jon.
Their legal split was settled as a no-fault divorce, but only because the state of Pennsylvania had no provision for a TLC’s fault divorce.
Jon and Kate both say that they still may even be willing to try to reconcile, if not for themselves, at least for the sake of their beloved ratings.
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