A suburban mall near Atlanta was evacuated Wednesday after a man who showed up dressed in elf costume told the mall’s Santa that he was carrying dynamite. The man was arrested for making terrorist threats, meaning he will be on a Homeland Security Watchlist, which Santa will check twice.
Police had to take the threat of explosives seriously, because, even though the dynamite wasn’t real, neither is Santa Claus.
A bomb squad official pointed out that if the dynamite had been real, there would have been serious danger even if the elf hadn’t detonated it, because at any time, Rudolph could have shown up with his nose lit and blown everything sky-high.
The suspect will undergo psychiatric evaluation. Experts say that it is most likely that the poor elf just wanted to be a dentist.
The evacuation of the mall went without further incident. Once shoppers left, not a creature was stirring; not even a mouse.
After the incident, Santa’s cheeks were rosy red, mainly because he’d crapped himself.
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