“Unpaid Insurance Bill”

The Senate passed its version of the healthcare bill Thursday after a debate that lasted 25 consecutive days. Coincidentally, that’s the exact average most patients wait in their doctor’s waiting rooms.

The cost of the entire packaged legislation is $871 billion, explaining why a piece of legislation is called a “bill.”

Under the plan, employers with more than 50 employees would have to provide health insurance or pay penalties. Perhaps not in the spirit of Christmas, Santa just laid off elves number 51 and up.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid accidentally voted “nay” during the roll-call vote, but quickly changed it to an “aye.” This prompted Republicans to quickly attach a rider to the bill to outlaw vote take-backs, as well as finger-crossies and ‘Opposite Day.’