"Mounted Monument?"

A new statue in front of Sarah Palin's hometown high school in Wasilla, Alaska, is causing controversy because snickering students think the two stone shields surrounded by feathers resemble a vagina.  Those who are curious enough to want to see the statue up close just have to take it out on 3 dates or just get it drunk.

But don’t really try to have sex with it, or you’ll be charged with statutory rape.

“Keep Your Eyes on the Air”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2011-07-12-alaska-planes-collide_n.htm

In Alaska, two small airplanes collided midair, but miraculously, neither plane sustained serious damage and both landed safely.  Even more amazing, no one immediately got out to look at the damage.

Though there were no injuries, both pilots could still wind up in trouble, for leaving the scene of an accident.

Because of the danger of collisions like this in the area known as Lake Clark Pass, The FAA wants to erect a warning sign 25,000 feet high.

Both pilots agree, from now on, no texting while flying.

“Paper Trail”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/2011-06-10-Palin-emails-Alaska_n.htm?csp=hf

The state of Alaska released over 24,000 of pages of Sarah Palin’s emails from her time as governor on Friday.  Not very much is expected to come from them that the public doesn’t already know, but some people really want to know what kind of smileys she used when talking about huntin’.

The fact that the emails can be read at all is 1. a tribute to the Freedom of Information Act, and 2. proof that she used Spell Check.

The sheeer volume of emails indicated that Palin spent a lot of time in her office working for Alaska.  Of course, a lot of that work apparently meant forwarding chain letters  so Alaska wouldn’t have bad luck.

“Palin Comparison”

On TLC’s reality show Sarah Palin’s Alaska, guest star Kate Gosselin was so miserable on a planned camping trip that she packed up and left, after complaining about the bugs, the cold, and the rain. Or as it’s otherwise known, “camping.”

When she left and got on a plane to go home, Gosselin was so upset that she accidentally remembered not to leave her kids behind.

When Gosselin was told by Palin that they would be surrounded by a natural environment for the children, Kate thought that Sarah meant the TV crew.

Kate’s main concern was for her children, because, after all, there were TV cameras on her.

Kate was really upset right from the beginning, but that’s because she thought she was supposed to be meeting Tina Fey.

The Television Academy is going to give a special Emmy award for this episode, for making Sarah Palin look like the normal one.

(Which can usually only be done through the use of elaborate editing and expensive special effects.)