“Advice Column”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/05/Sarah-Palin-vice-president-vetting-John-McCain--694923/1#.T7QW3ug192A

In a Wall Street Journal column, an advisor on John McCain’s 2008 election campaign revealed that, at the time Sarah Palin was chosen as his running mate, he called her, “high risk, high reward.”  That’s exactly the same way Levi Johnston described unprotected sex with Bristol Palin. 

"Mounted Monument?"

A new statue in front of Sarah Palin's hometown high school in Wasilla, Alaska, is causing controversy because snickering students think the two stone shields surrounded by feathers resemble a vagina.  Those who are curious enough to want to see the statue up close just have to take it out on 3 dates or just get it drunk.

But don’t really try to have sex with it, or you’ll be charged with statutory rape.

“Palin Too Late for Party?”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/09/sarah-palin-too-late-fred-malek-presidential-race-/1

Republican party advisor Fred Malek told ABC News he thinks it may be “too late” for Sarah Palin to run for president.  Though many who know how much experience she’s had in office say it’s actually years too soon.

“Paper Trail”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/2011-06-10-Palin-emails-Alaska_n.htm?csp=hf

The state of Alaska released over 24,000 of pages of Sarah Palin’s emails from her time as governor on Friday.  Not very much is expected to come from them that the public doesn’t already know, but some people really want to know what kind of smileys she used when talking about huntin’.

The fact that the emails can be read at all is 1. a tribute to the Freedom of Information Act, and 2. proof that she used Spell Check.

The sheeer volume of emails indicated that Palin spent a lot of time in her office working for Alaska.  Of course, a lot of that work apparently meant forwarding chain letters  so Alaska wouldn’t have bad luck.

“Sarah Palin’s Ride”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/06/sarah-palin-paul-revere-midnight-ride-/1

On her bus tour stop in Boston Thursday, Sarah Palin mixed up facts about Paul Revere’s famous ride.  For starters, he did not ride a moose.

Second, he was not hunting from a helicopter.

"Alaska or Bus"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/05/sarah-palin-bus-tour-one-nation-/1

Sarah Palin is launching a bus tour amid speculation that she may run for president.  The tour may prove that Palin really is qualified for the job that may be her ultimate goal: bus driver.

Obviously, it's a short bus tour.

"Palin Comparison"

New polls show that Sarah Palin is losing popularity among Republicans. Perhaps because her reality TV show, Sarah Palin's Alaska made her a moderate success.

“Palin Comparison”

On TLC’s reality show Sarah Palin’s Alaska, guest star Kate Gosselin was so miserable on a planned camping trip that she packed up and left, after complaining about the bugs, the cold, and the rain. Or as it’s otherwise known, “camping.”

When she left and got on a plane to go home, Gosselin was so upset that she accidentally remembered not to leave her kids behind.

When Gosselin was told by Palin that they would be surrounded by a natural environment for the children, Kate thought that Sarah meant the TV crew.

Kate’s main concern was for her children, because, after all, there were TV cameras on her.

Kate was really upset right from the beginning, but that’s because she thought she was supposed to be meeting Tina Fey.

The Television Academy is going to give a special Emmy award for this episode, for making Sarah Palin look like the normal one.

(Which can usually only be done through the use of elaborate editing and expensive special effects.)

“Engaging Talks”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2010/11/sarah-palin-president-2012-/1

Sarah Palin told a reporter that she is “engaged” in conversations with her family about whether or not she should run for president in 2012. Still, that doesn’t mean anything; Bristol Palin’s been engaged twice.

Stuff in the News today...

Preorders for her pending book have already made Sarah Palin a bestselling author, weeks before the book’s scheduled November 17 release. As soon as the book arrives, Palin’s diehard fans will begin reading it, but then quit halfway through.



On Tuesday, Toyota issued a recall of 3.8 million cars driver side floor mats, which had caused the accelerator pedal to get stuck down, causing multiple crashes. It’s a shame, because just as the auto industry was turning around, they literally had the rug pulled from under them.



President Obama is in Denmark campaigning for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics. His strongest argument: Chicago could certainly use the exercise.



Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte lifted off toward the International Space Station today, wearing a clown nose to make an important statement: Anyone following a clown into space should know that they have really, really big shoes to fill.