“Wearing Protection”

The U.S. Army says that they are developing body armor for female soldiers inspired by Xena, Warrior Princess.  Because they’ve figured out that the enemy can’t fight while they have an erection.

The armor will initially be for special operations, but it will then survive forever in syndication.

The women wearing the armor will be facing dangers such as poor plot construction and bad acting.

“Military Pride” or "Ask, Tell"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2010/12/obama-gay-service-members-will-no-longer-have-to-hide/1?csp=hf

President Obama signed into law the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, allowing gay men and women to openly and proudly serve in all branches of our Armed Forces. This means gay men and women no longer have to be ashamed if they serve in the Coast Guard.

To show how they are supporting servicemen and women regardless of sexual orientation, the Pentagon is ordering that all future military uniforms be more form- fitting.

Headed to their local recruiter’s office are a policeman, cowboy, construction worker, an Indian, and a leather-clad biker.

“Disarmed Forces” or "Uniform Decision"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/10/federal-judge-orders-military-to-stop-enforcing-dont-ask-dont-tell/1

A federal judge issued an injunction to stop the military’s enforcement of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” ruling that it violated self-incrimination rights guaranteed under the Fifth Amendment. As a result, the “Marine’s Hymn” will now be known and the “Marine’s Him and Him.”

Finally free to come out are wrestling icon Sgt. Slaughter, Superman’s nemesis Gen. Zod, KFC’s Col. Sanders, and the entire G.I. Joe team.