“Female Footballer”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2012/07/us-womens-soccer-player-im-gay/1?csp=hf

U.S Women’s soccer player Megan Rapinoe has come out publicly saying she is gay.  Her discovery of this first came when she realized that she was a woman soccer player.

Soccer was a natural choice for Megan, since she’s never had any desire to touch balls with her hands.

There hasn’t been any backlash from fans.  In fact, male fans now think she’s hotter.

The announcement puts a spotlight not only on her, and on the upcoming London Olympic Games, but this news may even let Americans find out what soccer is.

“The Flight Was Smashing, Not Crashing”

http://overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/17/10175708-oops-passengers-erroneously-told-plane-was-about-to-crash

An automated announcement aboard a British Airways flight incorrectly informed passengers that the plane was about to crash-land in the Atlantic Ocean, briefly causing a panic.  That was in coach.  In first class, the passengers were calmly invited to swim with dolphins.

The London-bound passengers were quickly reassured by flight attendants, but then they panicked again when they heard that the plane had run out of tea.

The passengers realized that the plane wasn’t going to crash when they noticed that none of the crew had gone into a lavatory to join the mile high club.

"Orchestra Pits"

In an experiment to see if music would help them grow, London's Royal Philharmonic Orchestra performed a concert for an audience of plants. The plants didn't grow, but they did become snobs.

“Teats’ Treats”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2011-02-25-breast-milk-dessert_N.htm

The Icecreamists, a London Company that began offering “Baby Gaga,” an ice cream made from human breast milk Friday, at a price equivalent to $22.50 per order. And to think, for ages that stuff has been wasted on babies for free!

The company completely sold out on Friday, the first day the product was offered. Since then, men everywhere are trying to get their hands on a plentiful supply source.

Customers who like it hope that it will become available in bigger cup sizes.

Those who want the ice cream but can’t afford it may just have to suck it up.

Asked why the human breast mil ice cream is so expensive, the company owner said, you have to pay a woman a lot of money to stay topless in a walk-in freezer.

Those who have tasted the ice cream are having a hard time weaning themselves off it.

If you purchase two orders, be advised that it is perfectly normal if one is slightly larger than the other.

The ice cream is said to be all natural, meaning no breast implants.

“Wiki-Creep”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2010-12-08-wikileaks08_ST_N.htm

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was denied bail in London, following charges that he sexually assaulted 2 women in Sweden. The charges sound worse in the United States, but in Sweden, it isn’t even considered sex unless there are 2 women.