“Dropping the Bomb”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/11/al-qaeda-cell-in-yemen-says-it-sent-us-bound-bombs/1

A Yemen-based Al-Qaida cell is now taking credit for the 2 parcels bombs intercepted before reaching Chicago synagogues last week. Last week. Apparently, even their claim of responsibility was sent by snail mail.

Even though the bombs didn’t go off, they still took responsibility. Apparently someone is hoping to get promoted just for taking a little initiative.

It’s hard to know if they are telling the truth. Since the bombs failed to detonate, they have asked that their postage be returned.

They wanted to take credit right away, but they were afraid the whole thing would blow up in their faces.

A warning: these are bad terrorists. I mean, both bombs were intercepted, and both were disarmed. These guys are just bad terrorists. They even suck at being evil.

“Minutes to Spare”

http://www.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/Index

French officials say one of the Chicago-bound toner cartridge bombs intercepted from Yemen last week was disarmed a mere 17 minutes before it was set to explode. American officials couldn’t confirm because the clock was analog, not digital.

The bomb would have been diffused with 32 minutes remaining, but French labor unions are very strict about workers taking their 15 minute break.

Had the bomber been more clever, he would have disguised the bombs as a pizza, guaranteeing delivery within 30 minutes.

Had the bombs been mailed this weekend instead, the end of Daylight Savings Time would have given the bomb squad an extra hour.

In the likely movie version of the event, the 17 minutes will be represented as exactly one second.