“Trebek’s Heart in Jeopardy!”

http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/jeopardy-host-trebek-suffers-mild-heart-attack-1689500.story

Alex Trebek has suffered a mild heart attack.  EMTs were on the scene quickly, but the money was only awarded to the one with the quickest response.

Now Alex is trying to get answers from his doctors, but the doctors have to phrase them in the form of a question.

While in the hospital, Alex was given a single room, but opted to downgrade to a Daily Double.

On the plus side, Trebek’s doctors tend to be smarter than, say, Wheel of Fortune’s doctors.

When the first paramedic hit his defibrillator, it locked out the others’ defibrillators, so they didn’t have the chance to buzz in.

A normal, human heart has 4 chambers, 2 auricles, and 2 ventricles.  Trebeks has 5 chambers per row, in 6 different categories.

Alex Trebek’s hospital gown was furnished by Mr. Guy of Beverly Hills.

To prevent another heart attack, Alex may have to be more careful with his diet and other lifestyle factors, depending on how much he wants to wager.

Before his cardiologist told Alex the results of his tests, Trebek already knew – but only because he was had the answers on the index cards he was holding.

Trebek’s heart surgeon operated in exchange for promotional consideration.

The medical bills will be for thousands and thousands of dollars.  Luckily for Alex, what  Medicare won’t cover, Ken Jennings will.

If Alex doesn’t take his doctor’s advice, he could be putting himself in double Jeopardy!

When asked what the heart attack was like, Trebek described it as feeling like someone put one of his Emmy awards on his chest.

While in the hospital, Trebek won a Daytime Emmy award as the host of Jeopardy.  To win more votes next year, Pat Sajak is planning a heart attack right before the Daytime Emmys. 

"Hospital Food"

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46399779/ns/health-heart_health/

Tourists thought it was a joke or a hoax when a customer at the fattening food haven, “The Heart Attack Grill” in Las Vegas needed medical attention and was wheeled on a stretcher to an ambulance after eating a “Triple Bypass Burger.”  Don’t worry, though, because the customer is currently resting at home, with a gravy IV.

At the hospital, technicians checked his vital signs and drew a ketchup sample.

After the incident, many of the restaurant’s customers were depressed and experienced desperate feelings of self-loathing.  In other words, they went right back to normal.

“Heart Attack Be Dammed”

On Tuesday, Jean Claude Van Damme suffered a minor heart attack on the set of his new movie. It was preceded by superior heart attacks by Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis. Then followed by a copycat heart attack by Steven Segal and a cheaper one by Dolph Lundgren.

His brush with mortality will inspire his next project, where he will fight a cruel villian named Cholesterol.

Van Damme’s new movie is called Weapon. Its sequel will be called Defibrillator.