“Food for Thought”

http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/food/diet-nutrition/2011-02-14-fiber_N.htm

A new government study says that eating more fiber could mean a longer life. Unfortunately, you’ll spend all that extra time pooping.

“Race against Time”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-10-13-hispanics-life-span_N.htm

The National Center for Health Statistics said that on average, Hispanics live longer than White or Black people. Commented a Republican, “Great. That means Mexicans can afford to just wait until we die, and then illegally cross the border into the U.S.”

As a result, thousands of nervous Black and White senior citizens are enrolling in Spanish classes.

Asians were not included in the study. Asked why, the NCHS said, “Someone had to stay in the lab and do the math.”