Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Common Cold

Extremely cold weather has been hitting many areas across the country. To fight the cold, Al Gore is recommending that people up their fossil fuel use. “Screw conservation.”

North Dakota posted a low of 24 degrees below zero, which is even worse news if you are already suffering from the common cold there. Anyone with post-nasal drip now has post-nasal icicle.

Even traditionally warmer states like Georgia had 20 degree weather. Or as they call it in Minnesota, Spring.

In Wisconsin, frozen pipes and water mains could cause the most serious problem: a shortage of hot cocoa.

New York City saw temps drop below zero. If fact, it’s so cold in New York today that the muggers won’t pull their handguns out of their jacket pockets.
It’s so hard to pull the trigger when you are wearing mittens.

People in New York and Boston have become so desperate for warmth, Yankees and Red Sox fans are getting together, just for the friction.

The entire state of Ohio can expect to be blanketed in snow again tonight. But there is some good news, Ohio. In most parts of the state, the snow won’t accumulate any higher than Dennis Kucinich.

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