“Take Aim, Rand”

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/01/17/rand-paul-lets-arm-teachers/1843003/

On Thursday, Sen. Rand Paul said he supported the idea of having school teachers carry guns in school.  He said, “Not only would it allow educators to defend themselves in the event of a crisis, we’d see a lot more class work being finished on time.”

At the end of those standardized tests, when teacher says pencils down, you’d better put that pencil down!

“That test is getting a ‘B.’  And the ‘B’ stands for ‘buckshot.’”

“Holy Smoking Gun”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-02-15-church_guns15_ST_N.htm

A gun-rights organization is fighting a new law in Georgia prohibiting guns in houses of worship. The organization has the support of several churches, who think trained, licensed gun carriers are good for protecting the congregation, and even better for encouraging donations to the collection plate.

Some churches want the law repealed, saying that guns historically help to get people on their knees, praying.

Some argue that alter boys should always be allowed to carry for self-defense.

If the law is changed, and guns are permitted in church, pastors would be allowed to talk about hell, and could say “brimstone,” but couldn’t yell “fire.”

Traditionally, shooting a gun at something is a great way to make it holy.