“Luggage Locked and Loaded” or “Bullet Plane”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/10/tsa-misses-loaded-gun-in-bag-at-lax/1

A loaded handgun fell out of a duffel bag as the bag was being loaded onto a Portland, Oregon-bound flight out of LAX Sunday.  The TSA doesn’t scan or search checked baggage, but they are giving their assurance that future passengers will really be felt up about it.

Guns may be checked, but are not supposed to have ammunition in them.  But just like pilots, every so often, one gets through, loaded.

While this incident was embarrassing for LAX, they made up for it by confiscating hundreds of harmless water bottles.

“Holy Smoking Gun”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-02-15-church_guns15_ST_N.htm

A gun-rights organization is fighting a new law in Georgia prohibiting guns in houses of worship. The organization has the support of several churches, who think trained, licensed gun carriers are good for protecting the congregation, and even better for encouraging donations to the collection plate.

Some churches want the law repealed, saying that guns historically help to get people on their knees, praying.

Some argue that alter boys should always be allowed to carry for self-defense.

If the law is changed, and guns are permitted in church, pastors would be allowed to talk about hell, and could say “brimstone,” but couldn’t yell “fire.”

Traditionally, shooting a gun at something is a great way to make it holy.

“Knee Cap”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/10/wake-up-call-colo-man-shoots-self-while-sleepwalking/1
On Tuesday, a Colorado man shots himself in the knee while sleepwalking in the middle of the night. The man was arrested as part of a sleeper cell.

The Sandman was then arrested as an accessory.

The man had taken prescription pain medication and then fallen asleep. The his gun was loaded, and needless to say, so was he.

The guy wasn’t too bright. He didn’t think he could shoot his leg because it was a hand gun.

Police say they believe the man’s sleepwalking story, but it isn’t bulletproof.

It just goes to show that if you think it’s safe to keep an unsecured, loaded gun in the house, you must be dreaming.