“Up Against the Wal”

Walmart has announced that they will again start selling guns to improve the chain’s slumping sales.  The guns are expected to sell well, and Walmart’s revenues to increase.  This solves the problem for both Walmart’s stores, and the robbers who want to hold them up at gunpoint.

“Holy Smoking Gun”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2011-02-15-church_guns15_ST_N.htm

A gun-rights organization is fighting a new law in Georgia prohibiting guns in houses of worship. The organization has the support of several churches, who think trained, licensed gun carriers are good for protecting the congregation, and even better for encouraging donations to the collection plate.

Some churches want the law repealed, saying that guns historically help to get people on their knees, praying.

Some argue that alter boys should always be allowed to carry for self-defense.

If the law is changed, and guns are permitted in church, pastors would be allowed to talk about hell, and could say “brimstone,” but couldn’t yell “fire.”

Traditionally, shooting a gun at something is a great way to make it holy.