“Poor Mitt”

http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/01/10289765-romney-im-not-concerned-about-the-very-poor

In a brief sound bite this week, Mitt Romney was quoted as saying that he is “not concerned about the very poor” in America.  Romney defended the quote, saying he thought the poor were a myth, like

fairies and ghosts.

Mitt believes in the Abominable Snowman, however, because he has personally met Newt Gingrich.

Romney clarified his statement that he need not be concerned about the poor because there is a safety net in place.  By that he means there is a protective net around the rich so the poor can’t get to them.

“Bachman Bach’s Out”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/01/bachmann-cancels-sc-schedules-news-conference/1?csp=hf

After finishing 6^th in the Iowa Republican caucuses Tuesday, Michelle Bachman has said she is suspending her presidential campaign, but said she will continue to fight against President Obama.  She did not specify how she’ll fight him, but one can presume her main weapon will be her crazy stare.

Now that Bachman is out of the campaign, she will be free to spend more time with her husband to try to turn him straight.

“Cry of Newt”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/12/newt-gingrich-cries-mother/1

At a Des Moines coffee house, Newt Gingrich broke into tears when talking about his mother to a group called CafeMoms.  It’s understandable.  After all, she’s the woman who named her own son “Newt.”