According
to TMZ, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to divorce after 5 years of
marriage. Or at least, 5 years of
pretend marriage.
Tom
and Katie supposedly have a prenup, so he will likely keep most of his assets
after the divorce is final, and Katie will get to go have sex with a man.
The
divorce finally came because after five years, you can’t help but get tired of
a partner who just isn’t as much of a man as you want. And Katie probably has her reasons, too.
As
husbands go, Tom came up a bit short.
The
marriage has shown signs of strain ever since America saw all the sexual
tension in Tom’s interview with Matt Lauer.
Rumor
has it that Tom slept with as many women on the set of Rock of Ages as he has on every other movie he’s done: none.
Tom
will continue with his movie career, and Katie will go back to Dawson’s
Creek. Not the show; that was cancelled
years ago. She’s actually going to a
tiny town called Dawson’s Creek.
Their
daughter Suri Cruise is confused by the whole thing, but she does understand even
though her 2 mommies love her very much, they won’t be living together in separate
bedrooms anymore.
Tom
insists that his marriage to Katie and their family life was real. He says, “If I was going to fabricate the
basic structural elements for a group of people to build their lives around, pretending
it had depth or meaning, getting them to grow within that structure, the whole
time knowing it’s a complete farce, I would have invented Scientology.
