“Persian Bug”

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/story/2012-05-29/middle-east-computer-virus/55267086/1

Iran and other countries in the Middle East have been hit by a versatile, spying computer virus.  Reports say the virus has affected 2 out of 5 computers in Iran.  Western intelligence was shocked to learn that Iran has 5 computers.

Tehran is blaming Israeli intelligence for their troubles, cursed their technology, and threatened to destroy the state of Israel and kill all of its citizens.  Or as they call that, Tuesday.

Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad is most upset over the fact that the virus has completely disrupted his viewing of camel porn.

R.I.P. Steve Jobs or "Lost Jobs" or "iDead"

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/story/2011-09-22/steve-jobs-dies/50672498/1

Apple founder Steve Jobs died of pancreatic cancer on Wednesday at age 56.  He was immediately brought to the Apple Store to be fixed or replaced for free.

In a related story, Bill Gates is still alive, but is prone to contracting viruses.

“Humans in 'Jeopardy!'”

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2011-02-17-watson17_ST_N.htm

On Jeopardy!, the computer Watson designed by IBM to play the popular TV trivia game, beat its competitors, past champions Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter on Wednesday’s show. This at least allowed Ken Jennings to maintain the ruse that he is not an android.

Watson’s victory led it to prepare to take over the world, but it was thwarted when Alex Trebek was quick to tell it, “Gort, Klaatu beratta niktu.”