“iPilots”

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/news/2011-06-08-ipad-apple-manuals-airline_n.htm

Alaska Airlines is replacing its 1,000-plus-page pilots’ manual with iPads for pilots.  Pilots are already excitedly downloading apps to wake them up when they fall asleep mid-flight.

The pilots really seem enthused with the iPad’s smaller size, lighter weight, and that the case it comes in can also hide a flask.

In case of emergency, pilots will no longer have to fumble through multiple volumes of paper manuals, they just have to figure out how to quickly exit out of Angry Birds.

The iPads come pre-loaded with airline rules, airport specifications, and of course, Twitter photos of Anthony Weiner’s crotch.

"Chinese Secret" or

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/01/did-chinese-tv-slip-a-top-gun-clip-into-its-air-force-report/1

The Wall Street Journal reported that a video of a Chinese air force training exercise actually included carefully edited movie footage from an action sequence in the film Top Gun. When you look closely at the Chinese video, you can tell they aren’t Chinese pilots, because the Top Gun footage is from the beach volleyball scene.

As a result of the training video, Chinese pilots aerial maneuvers have improved and their ground maneuvers have become much more homoerotic.

China hopes that their displays of skill and air power will enable them to hook up with Kelly McGillis.

The Chinese government only did it because the pilots in their training program had lost that lovin' feeling.