“Inflated Facts”

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/01/9141586-woman-denies-injecting-patients-buttocks-with-fix-a-flat

A Florida trans-gendered woman is facing charges for running a black-market butt-enhancement business where she injected cement, Fix-a-Flat, and superglue into a patient’s buttocks.  The patient became suspicious that cement had been used, because as soon as her butt was smoothed out, someone made footprints in it before it could dry.

Asked why she used Fix-a-Flat tire sealant, the accused admitted, “I ran out of silly string and whipped cream.”

Accusations include practicing medicine without a license.  Though, based on the materials she was using, the closest thing she had to a medical license was a discount card for The Home Depot.

Can you believe she used super-glue to seal a cosmetic surgery injection site?  Everyone knows you have to caulk it.

“King of Fools Takes the Throne”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/04/prank-leaves-man-superglued-to-public-toilet-seat-at-walmart/1

An April fools’ prank sent a Maryland man to the hospital after his buttocks became super-glued to a Wal-Mart bathroom toilet seat.  Between the ordeal and the hospital bill, the man was completely wiped out.

If the perpetrator is found, he could face assault charges, and it won’t be hard to make them stick.

Once the man was stuck to the seat, even Walmart didn’t have the power to roll it back.

Walmart seemed the right place for this kind of prank, since it was such a cheap trick.

The man was embarrassed, of course, that people would find out he shopped at Walmat.

On the bright side, the Walmart let the man have that toilet seat at a rock-bottom price.