“Up Against the Wal”

Walmart has announced that they will again start selling guns to improve the chain’s slumping sales.  The guns are expected to sell well, and Walmart’s revenues to increase.  This solves the problem for both Walmart’s stores, and the robbers who want to hold them up at gunpoint.

“King of Fools Takes the Throne”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/04/prank-leaves-man-superglued-to-public-toilet-seat-at-walmart/1

An April fools’ prank sent a Maryland man to the hospital after his buttocks became super-glued to a Wal-Mart bathroom toilet seat.  Between the ordeal and the hospital bill, the man was completely wiped out.

If the perpetrator is found, he could face assault charges, and it won’t be hard to make them stick.

Once the man was stuck to the seat, even Walmart didn’t have the power to roll it back.

Walmart seemed the right place for this kind of prank, since it was such a cheap trick.

The man was embarrassed, of course, that people would find out he shopped at Walmat.

On the bright side, the Walmart let the man have that toilet seat at a rock-bottom price.