Friday, December 5, 2008

French Rolled

In Paris yesterday, a gang of armed robbers pulled off a $100 million jewelry heist in broad daylight at a Harry Winston boutique. Two of the 4 male robbers were dressed in women’s clothes and wigs, which experts presume is so they can look pretty when they try on the jewelry.

The disguises may also have been an attempt to exonerate innocents. After all, if witnesses described the robbers as ‘androgynous,’ that could implicate all the men in Europe.

The robbers made what French authorities consider a clean getaway. It wasn’t actually clean; it was just drowned in cologne.
By American standards it still reeks.

Employees at the boutique were threatened with guns and some were hit on the head. All of them were witnesses, but none could confirm the exact time of the robbery. French police eventually figured out that was because all the watches had been stolen.

Luckily, none of the store clerks were shot, which is attributed to them shielding themselves with a thick layer of snootiness.

Witnesses said the robbers spoke a foreign language. Officials concede that if the criminals are foreigners, catching them may be more difficult. This is because, if they are not French, they won’t have that natural predisposition to surrender.

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