"Live Wrong and Prosper" or "Deep Space Crime"

In Denver, CO, a masked man robbed two 7-11 stores armed with a Klingon sword. Obviously the mask was to conceal his nerd glasses.

Local police may seek help in the investigation from Starfleet Command.

The robber hit the two locations within a half hour of each other, leading the police to believe he may have beamed in and out.

This may be the first robbery ever pulled off with a souvenir from Comic-Con.

The community at large has condemned the crime as “highly illogical.”

The clerk at the first robbery site described the robber as male, white, in his 20’s, and despite his weapon, probably from Earth.

Authorities will be on the lookout for anyone who is using a suspiciously large amount of cash to spruce up basement apartment in their parents’ house.

There were no injuries at either robbery, according to the holograghic doctor in 7-11’s sick bay.

At the second store, the robber was refused money and left on foot. I guess his mom wasn’t available to pick him up.

The Klingon High Council has, of course, disavowed any knowledge of the robber’s actions.