“Addressing the State of the Union"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/01/obama-weve-got-to-up-our-game-against-global-competition/1

Tuesday night President Obama delivered his State of the Union Address to the combined houses of Congress, emphasizing, education, innovation, fixing the health care system, and freezing domestic spending. Naturally, Republicans were universally displeased that the president didn’t grant Christopher Nolan a Best Director nomination.

The president made the point that in order to insure a brighter future, the United States must “lead the world in innovation.” To push his point, Obama himself invented statistics and percentages that would boost his agenda.

Obama also innovated the pseudonym of “government investing” for “collecting taxes.”

In a change of protocol, members of Congress were not seated by party, so Republicans and Democrats were seated side by side throughout the gallery. Though this was supposed to symbolize bipartisanship, it only led to spitballs, wet willies, and Indian burns.