“Letter to the President”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2011-04-06-Gadhafi-Obama_N.htm

Moammar Gaghafi wrote a letter to President Obama, delivered to the U.S. State Department Wednesday.  In the letter, Gadhafi  asks Obama to stop the U.S. led air-strikes against Libya, and begs Obama to be his pen-pal.

The 3-page letter was deemed authentic, based on Gadhafi’s handwriting, as well as the spelling mistakes, and the hearts dotting the lower-case I’s.

The letter even wishes President Obama good luck in his 2012 re-election campaign, and seems sincere, based on how hard Gadhafi appears to have been pressing with his crayon.

 In the letter, he called Obama “our son,” just to screw with the “Birthers.”

Gadhafi, signed the letter with his name, and the title “Leader of the Revolution.”  This is odd, since he has been the president of Libya for 40 years.  Now that there is a rebellion, it sounds like he’s trying to confuse Obama into thinking that he’s switched sides.

“Addressing the State of the Union"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/01/obama-weve-got-to-up-our-game-against-global-competition/1

Tuesday night President Obama delivered his State of the Union Address to the combined houses of Congress, emphasizing, education, innovation, fixing the health care system, and freezing domestic spending. Naturally, Republicans were universally displeased that the president didn’t grant Christopher Nolan a Best Director nomination.

The president made the point that in order to insure a brighter future, the United States must “lead the world in innovation.” To push his point, Obama himself invented statistics and percentages that would boost his agenda.

Obama also innovated the pseudonym of “government investing” for “collecting taxes.”

In a change of protocol, members of Congress were not seated by party, so Republicans and Democrats were seated side by side throughout the gallery. Though this was supposed to symbolize bipartisanship, it only led to spitballs, wet willies, and Indian burns.

“A Dick Says What?”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/01/cheney-obama-will-be-a-one-term-president/1?csp=hf

Former Vice President Dick Cheney said on The Today Show Tuesday that he thinks Barak Obama will be a one-term president. Cheney added, “Obama won’t be running this country for 8 years, like I did. – I mean, like Georgie did.”

When asked about the current uproar over gun laws since the recent Arizona shootings, Cheney said, “We need to be… careful about assuming… society or… political class bears the responsibility for what happened… when it was the act of a deranged, crazed individual.” Adding, “And I know what I’m talking about – I’ve shot a friend in the face.”

Stuff in the News today...

Preorders for her pending book have already made Sarah Palin a bestselling author, weeks before the book’s scheduled November 17 release. As soon as the book arrives, Palin’s diehard fans will begin reading it, but then quit halfway through.



On Tuesday, Toyota issued a recall of 3.8 million cars driver side floor mats, which had caused the accelerator pedal to get stuck down, causing multiple crashes. It’s a shame, because just as the auto industry was turning around, they literally had the rug pulled from under them.



President Obama is in Denmark campaigning for Chicago to host the 2016 Olympics. His strongest argument: Chicago could certainly use the exercise.



Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte lifted off toward the International Space Station today, wearing a clown nose to make an important statement: Anyone following a clown into space should know that they have really, really big shoes to fill.

“Commander-In-Studio”

The White House has announced that President Obama will make an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Thursday. There was no intention to snub David Letterman, but Leno is still buying brand new American-made cars every day.

In fact, he’s the only one buying any.

Jay better watch it, though. If any of his jokes bomb, Secret Service will take him out.

Many people think that Obama may feel the need to step it up since a new NBC series introduced the idea of the U.S. having a king.

This is the first time a sitting U.S. president will be getting couch-time on a late night talk show. Not that The Tonight Show hasn’t tried before. They always thought a "Jay Walking" segment asking President Bush common knowledge questions would have been hilarious.

In a related story, it could be said that for eight years, Letterman could have shown clips of Bush for any “Stupid Human Tricks” segment.

Don’t Bank On It

So far, Congressional talks to fund President Bush’s proposed bank industry bailout have failed. In summary, half of Congress bailed and the other half are out.

John McCain has said that he will debate with Barak Obama tonight. All week, the two sides have been publicly arguing back and forth about the proposed bank bail-out, the economy, and the priorities of this country. Isn’t that called… a debate?

In the biggest bank failure in U.S. history, Washington Mutual was seized and its assets sold to JP Morgan Chase & Co. last night. To reflect its new relationship with customers, Washington Mutual is changing its name to Mutual Disdain.