Wednesday, October 19, 2011

“Social Security Benefiters to Benefit”


Social Security benefits will go up for the first time in 3 years in 2012, increasing by 3.6%.  This means that instead of having poor senior have to eat out of other people’s garbage cans, those seniors will now be able to afford their own garbage cans.

The idea for the increase is to compensate for inflation, but not enough to let senior citizens afford Viagra, since no one ones to picture old people doing it.

The official name for the increase is Cost of Living Adjustment, or COLA.  They call it “COLA” because recipients are excited to get it, but it doesn’t take long for the fizz to go out.

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