“The President’s Cold Reception”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2011/09/obama-confident-of-re-election/1

Speaking in terms of his confidence about being re-elected, President Obama said Thursday that he hopes that his next inauguration is warmer than the first.  The statement caused confusion and outrage among Republicans, because they don’t believe in global warming.

“Runner Rick”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/2011-06-06-santorum_n.htm

Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum announced Monday that he will run for the Republican nomination for president.  Most Americans-not-from-Pennsylvania’s reaction was, “Who’s Rick Santorum?” and the rest were like, “Cool… Transylvania!”

“Good Luck, President Jonathan”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/2011-04-17-Nigeria-election.htm

Nigeria’s president, Goodluck Jonathan, won the presidential election there Monday, over rival Muhammadu Buhari.  Mr. Jonathan received hundreds of congratulatory emails, mostly from Nigerians who just need a few thousand dollars to access their royal millions, which they would then share 50/50 with him.

"The Donald, the Candidate?"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2011/02/donald-trump-obama-cpac-/1

Donald Trump spoke at the Conservative Political Action Conference, telling the crowd he is seriously considering a run for president in 2012. His plan to improve the economy and lower unemployment is simple: turn America into a reality show.

Trump has the perfect election strategy. He’ll get all the rich people on his side, and then win over poor, single mothers with running mate Bret Michaels.

Vice President Joe Biden called and asked Trump, "If you win in 2012, can I be your Apprentice?"