“Baby Aspirin”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/02/foster-friess-bayer-aspirin-contraceptives-santorum-/1#.Tz2IR8U192A

Foster Friess, millionaire supporter of Rick Santorum’s super PAC, said in an MSNBC interview that women should use  Bayer aspirin as a contraceptive –by holding one between their knees.  Friess’ remark may have backfired, since taking an aspirin often cures the headaches that prevent sex.

The idea of using aspirim as birth control has caused confusion for many of Santorum’s supporters.  Some are substituting their birth control pills with2 Bayer tablets while others are trying to have sex with the pill bottle.

People having sex by themselves are then logically encouraged to use Aspercreme, and just rub it in.

The pharmacists of America want to remind people to only use aspirin as directed, between two consenting adults.

Sex itself has been said to be a medicine.  And by extension, gay sex is an alternative medicine.

"Marines, Republicans, a Rhino, and the FBI

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/09/10364262-marines-posed-with-flag-resembling-nazi-ss-logo-in-afghanistan

The Marine Corps  confirmed that in a photograph that appeared on the Internet, one of their Afghanistan sniper teams posed in front of a flag resembling the SS of Nazi Germany.  Noting that everything must be taken in context, at the time, those Marines were trying to impress Dick Cheney.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/onpolitics/post/2012/02/rick-santorum-gallup-tracking-poll-mitt-romney-/1

Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has surged way ahead of Newt Gingrich, thanks to winning 3 primary elections this week in Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri.  Though, no matter how far ahead Santorum may be, you can always still see Newt behind him just because of his massive girth.

http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/02/09/10364240-rhino-dies-in-anti-poaching-demo-by-

conservationists

In a conservation group’s anti-poaching demonstration gone wrong, a rhinoceros died in South Africa, when a tranquilizer used to sedate the animal killed it instead.  Trying to save face, the organization changed their message, warning to rhinos to just say “no” to drugs.

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2012/02/fbi-releases-file-on-apples-steve-jobs/1

Today the FBI released the file they had on Steve Jobs, from 1991, when then President H. W. Bush was considering his as a US Export Council appointee.  Though the file is now public, you can’t read it because their PC’s crashed.

The FBI also has a file on Bill Gates.  It costs about half as much to get, but it sucks.

“Runner Rick”

http://www.usatoday.com/news/politics/2011-06-06-santorum_n.htm

Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum announced Monday that he will run for the Republican nomination for president.  Most Americans-not-from-Pennsylvania’s reaction was, “Who’s Rick Santorum?” and the rest were like, “Cool… Transylvania!”