Harvard doctors are testing new treatments for bipolar disorder. Some scientists are optimistic that new treatments will be more effective than anything prior. Others, however, felt doomed to conduct anonymous research for the rest of their sad, pathetic lives.
The National Institute of Mental Health are treating manic-depressive patients with a patch using the same drug commonly used for sea or airsickness. It helped the depressed patients, but the manic ones just got in their boats and planes and sailed or flew away.
Several beaches along the New Jersey shore had to be closed in the middle of the busy holiday weekend because of hazardous medical waste washing up on shore. Even sadder than the ruined vacations for beach visitors: many of these people have to live in New Jersey.
The waste and trash found on beaches included syringes, gauze, and tampon applicators. No one knows the source of the waste, according to the only witness, a heroin-addicted, Egyptian mummy on her period.
It’s a shame when people’s day at the beach is ruined by anything so gross and disturbing. In a related story, hundreds were seen screaming and running away from an old, fat guy in a Speedo.
The winner of Friday’s Mega Millions estimated $330 million jackpot says that upon buying his 2 tickets, he made a vow that he would teach his wiccan beliefs to others if he won. But only one ticket won, so since the other didn’t, deal’s off!
Actually God, Himself knew that at odds of 176 million to 1, this guy really had a chance in hell.
My question is, why should he settle for wicca? Now that he’s rich, he could buy his way up pretty high in scientology.
NASA conducted an internal investigation in response to an external report that 2 astronauts showed up for space flights while intoxicated. The investigation found the report to be false, and NASA considers the matter closed. Good thing they never gave a breathalyzer to those chimps.
