“Clemons’ Time”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2011/07/roger-clemens-judge-considers-mistrial/1?csp=hf

The judge in Roger Clemons perjury trial declared a mistrial Thursday, when prosecutors presented evidence to the jury that had been previously banned.  The prosecutors immediately called “foul.”

Clemons, being a pitcher, is concerned about the courts’ “3 strikes” rule.

“Impaired Judgment”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/03/man-shows-up-to-dwi-hearing-late-drunk-carrying-open-beer/1

A man showed up to his felony DWI pretrial hearing in New York an hour and a half late for court, drunk, and carrying an open beer and 4 more in a bag. Haven’t we heard enough about Charlie Sheen already?

Justice is supposed to be blind, but not blind drunk.

In order that the man is tried by his peers, his lawyer will be looking for a hung-over jury.

“Cox-Ar-can’t”

http://omg.yahoo.com/news/courteney-cox-david-arquette-confirm-separation-we-still-love-each-other-deeply/48749?nc

Hollywood power couple Courtney Cox and David Arquette are splitting up after 11 years of marriage. Apparently, they got bored with each other just 5 years after the rest of America got bored with them.

The two met on the set of the 1995 movie Scream, and it’s been a combination of horror and horror parody ever since.