"No Hitter"

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2012/06/roger-clemens-verdict/1#.T9-XRhc192C

Roger Clemons was found not guilty in his perjury trial in Washington, D.C., stemming from his testimony given to Congress in 2008 about using steroids.  Of course, in the official court documents, the words “Not guilty” will be followed by an asterisk.

When the verdict was read, spectators saw Clemons hug family members.  Had he been found guilty, they would have seen ‘roid rage.

Prosecutors really expected a conviction, so Clemons acquittal really threw them a curve.

Because Clemons was a pitcher, he was worried about the government’s “3 strikes” rule.

The government has been upset since the original steroids trials, because without a multi-million-dollar contract, Clemons wasn’t willing to play ball.

“Clemons’ Time”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/dailypitch/post/2011/07/roger-clemens-judge-considers-mistrial/1?csp=hf

The judge in Roger Clemons perjury trial declared a mistrial Thursday, when prosecutors presented evidence to the jury that had been previously banned.  The prosecutors immediately called “foul.”

Clemons, being a pitcher, is concerned about the courts’ “3 strikes” rule.

“Impaired Judgment”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/03/man-shows-up-to-dwi-hearing-late-drunk-carrying-open-beer/1

A man showed up to his felony DWI pretrial hearing in New York an hour and a half late for court, drunk, and carrying an open beer and 4 more in a bag. Haven’t we heard enough about Charlie Sheen already?

Justice is supposed to be blind, but not blind drunk.

In order that the man is tried by his peers, his lawyer will be looking for a hung-over jury.

"Evil and Its Lawyer" or "Killer Deal"

Saddam Hussein's former lawyer Giovanni Di Stefano is now representing Charles Manson in a new trial. Manson is optimistic, but only because no one's told him that Saddam was executed by hanging in 2006.

One can only assume Di Stefano’s arrangement is that he gets paid regardless of the outcome.

Di Stefano will not collect any money as a fee, but Satan has promised him eternal life.