Last week Kanye West flew Kim Kardashian to San
Francisco, where he surprised her by having rented out AT&T Park, home of
the Giants, where he then proposed. He
wanted to bring her to a place big enough for her ass and his ego.
Though they’ve been together a while now, Kim said the
proposal came totally out of left field.
In his proposal, Kanye told Kim that if she’d marry him, she would make him the happiest man in the world, you know, because of all the publicity.
Kanye said that the only thing that could make him
happier was if he could marry himself.
Kanye did not offer his proposal in a rap, but only
because Kim had not bought a ticket to be in the stadium.
Members of Kim’s family were hiding in the dugout waiting
for Kim’s answer. The dugout seemed the
perfect place for them, since it, too, is shallow.
Khloe Kardashian was there, but she kept getting mistaken
for the Giants’ mascot.
Kanye proposed with a giant, 14.2-carot diamond
ring. Kim said it was the best thing he
ever gave her, the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen, and it goes without
saying that she loves it much more than their baby.
Actually, Kanye and Kim couldn’t wait to celebrate their
happy news with their baby, North, as soon as they figure out which nanny
currently has her.
Kanye had decided this was the perfect time to propose,
because as a couple, it’s very important that they promote his new album.
Kim said ‘yes’ to Kanye, making way for a huge
celebration for all their lawyers.
As soon as Kim accepted the proposal, Kanye went straight
to third base.
There was no TV crew there, allowing Kim and Kanye to
enjoy this as a private moment before the next sex tape.
Kim will soon be planning her bridal shower, which is
what Kris Jenner calls meeting with networks to see who gets the deal to
broadcast the wedding.
Kim and Kanye don’t care what denomination their wedding
officiate is, as long as it’s someone who bows down to Yesus.
Kim and Kanye will not wed at AT&T Park, because even
they know that with AT&T, you’ll get a lousy reception.
In a somewhat related story, that same day, Kris
Humphries went on a blind movie date, where he spilled a soda on the girl right
after the coming attractions.
