“Kim and Kanye Konceive”

Kim Kardashian said that she had a hard time getting pregnant.  But once the video camera was rolling…

If families with young children watch the Kardashians on TV and the kids start asking where babies come from, their parents should explain to them, “A baby is made when a man and a woman love attention very much…”

The baby already has its own reality show, with the crew filming 24/7 from inside Kim’s uterus. 

But to be fair, they were already there before she got pregnant.

A few years after the baby is born, Kim and Kanye already can’t wait to show their child the tape of his or her conception.

Kim and Kanye have decided NOT to show the birth on television.  Some moments are just so special and private that they only belong on pay-per-view.

It’s too soon to know if the baby will look like Kim or Kanye when its born, but like all 3-month fetuses, for now its face looks like Bruce Jenner.

“Mazel Tov to Natalie”

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2011-06-14-natalie-portman-baby_n.htm

Natalie Portman gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday.  The announcement means it will be more difficult to hide the boy from Jedi turned Sith Lord Anakin Skywalker.

Portman feels well-prepared for motherhood, having spent the last few months pushing her Oscar for Black Swan around in a stroller.

As soon as the baby was born, the umbilical cord was cut.  Still, this time it’s good news that there’s No Strings Attached.

"You Got Served"

A mother in Michigan was upset when an Applebee's served her 15-month-old son alcohol instead of juice.  The mother was mainly upset because neither she nor her son looked young enough to get carded.

“Bouncing, Boxing Baby”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2011/04/laila-ali-gives-birth-to-baby-girl-/1

Laila Ali, boxer and daughter of Muhammad Ali, gave birth to a girl Monday morning. Both mother and daughter are doing well, though in the early rounds of labor, Laila took some punishment to the midsection.

The baby was born about 3am, and immediately a referee sent her to a neutral corner.

The little girl’s name is Sydney, proclaimed by unanimous judges’ decision.

Muhammad Ali is all ready to have baby Sydney face off against Joe Frasier’s granddaughter.

“Blue Fire”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2011/03/flight-attendant-fired-for-briefly-putting-child-in-overhead-bin/1?csp=obnetwork

A Virgin Blue flight attendant was fired this week for briefly putting a toddler in an overhear bin during a game of peek-a-boo in an in-flight incident 3 months ago. The airline was furious, saying toddlers must be checked at the gate so they can charge $30.

The mother reported that she cried for days after the incident. She said, “You put my baby in the overhead bin? And to think I wasted $500, paying for his own seat!”

“Mariah’s Carrying”

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2010-10-28-carey-cannon_N.htm

Mariah Carey announced that she and husband Nick Cannon are expecting a baby. Carey is having an assistant hold up her stomach until she can hire a nanny to do it.

Being pregnant seems to agree with her. Mariah said, “I already can’t wait to give all my love and nurturing to my wonderful new album – I mean baby.”