"Swiss Bankroll"

http://worldnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/12/13/9424054-casino-nixes-57-million-slot-payout-jilted-swiss-to-sue

A player at a Swiss casino who thought he won a $57 million jackpot is suing the casino that claimed the flashing screen was an error and denied his pay-out.  The casino is scared because in court, their odds of winning are only 50/50, the worst they’ve ever seen.

A true gambler, the man is suing for double or nothing.

“Hair Ball”

http://music.msn.com/music/article.aspx?news=689650

A gambling website has purchased a piece of Michael Jackson’s hair with the intention of turning it into a ball for a roulette wheel.  The roulette ball will be the first part of Jackson’s body to ever circulate among people over 21.

It seems hard to believe; Michael's hair had so much relaxer in it, it's hard to imagine it ever curling into a ball.

The most awkward part is, when the roulette ball comes to a stop, everyone looks at Conrad Murray.

“Chips are Down”

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/ondeadline/post/2010/12/gunman-on-motorcycle-robs-bellagio-casino-of-15-million-in-chips/1

A gunman wearing a motorcycle helmet robbed the Bellagio Hotel/Casino of over $1.5 million in chips Tuesday. He’d have gotten away, too, but valet motorcycle parking was free.

Police will apprehend him while he’s waiting for his complimentary cocktail.

Since casino chips have no cash value outside the casino where they are used, police are assuming the man’s helmet is depriving his brain of oxygen, so they’ll catch him when he calls 911.

After tipping the dealer, pit boss, bellman, housekeeper, bartender, cocktail waitress, restroom attendant, maitre D’, food server, and doorman, and limo driver, he got away with 100 bucks.

There’s an easier way to walk out of a Las Vegas casino with $1.5 million. Walk in with $3 million.